How did this all start?

After Mike's death, I was understandably sad. I took our dog and moved back home with my parents. It was the best thing I could have done and am thankful every day of the support and love that they showed me through that time and my whole life.

I needed something to get my mind off of Mike's death, or really just somewhere to go so that I didn't feel alone. That in mind, I actually started utilizing my gym membership an would run on the treadmill for about a half an hour every few days. I got into a good routine and started feeling better already. It helped that my appetite had almost disappeared after Mike died, so I had a chance to cut back on the amount of food that I was consuming, and since I was living at home, my dad made me fruit and yogurt(nonfat, plain) for breakfast every morning, and healthy veggie/protein meals for dinner. I relied a lot on lean cuisines for lunch because, in my mind, they were better than any alternatives and low in calories (and taste!)!

Now, let me explain, that I always thought I had a pretty good idea about what was healthy. I knew that I needed to eat well (a sandwich for lunch and ice cream after dinner are ok as long as you eat veggies, right?), and exercise (15 minutes on the treadmill a few times a week? No problem!). Fortunately, I eventually learned that wasn't going to cut it (we'll get to that later).

I was incredibly HAPPY after I would leave the gym. I would still think about Mike, but the workout would help my mood and sadness exponentially.

It was when I realized WHY I was doing this, that I was able to delve more deeply into it. When Mike died, I realized that life is incredibly short. Whatever my goals were, whatever I wanted to do, it needed to be completed NOW. There was no time to wait. I didn't want to lie on my death bed and wonder why I hadn't gone to the gym more, or travelled, or pursued my passion. I decided right then that I was going to live for Mike. He didn't live to see his 29th or 30th birthdays (one of which would have been in 16 days...) so I was going to do it all for him. I was going to be the healthiest and happiest that I could be to not only reach my goals and have no regrets, but to make him proud and accomplish things that he wasn't able to accomplish.

It wasn't until I realized that I needed to step out of my comfort zone and be a strong, independent women that fitness really started to change for me....